Campaign for Real Felines

Our house is under siege. Protesters have arrived. There will be no peace until their demands are met.

KosherCop has lately embarked upon a relentless campaign to adopt a cat. This past Shabbat he took all of his stuffed animals, lined them up on the couch, and announced they were protesting until we got one. Then he yelled, "Occupy the [Kosher Whine] house!"

Apparently, he "really, really, really needs a cat."

I, however, do not want a cat. We used to have cats and when the last one passed away I embraced our cat-free, hairball-free, ammonia-free home and never looked back.

But I'm not sure I can hold out much longer. It's not just the begging, pleading, negotiating, and presenting of logical arguments (he's nothing if not his father's son). It's also the sudden preoccupation with our most recently deceased cat.

The cat has been gone for 3 1/2 years and KosherCop was lukewarm at best toward her when she was alive. But, he is missing her terribly all over again. Last week he had an art project at school where they had to work in the style of artist Alberto Giacometti (I love his school's art program!) So KosherCop's project was an elongated cat that was very much in the style of this cat. When he showed it to me he told me - on the verge of tears - it was a very long Zeebo and she was crying because she missed us. Well, of course, that made me cry, too. Heck, I'm crying right now just thinking about it.

KosherCop's picture of Long Crying Zeebo in the style of Alberto Giacometti

Then, yesterday, I was at a school event and mentioned the stuffed animal protest to his teacher and she told me that he has also been writing a story about Zeebo in creative writing - a memorial tribute, if you will. That may have pushed me right over the edge.

And so, in the face of overwhelming evidence I'm thinking that our son may in fact actually "need" a cat.

Ironically, KosherCook, who has wanted us to get a new cat for quite some time and was initially firmly in KosherCop's corner on this one, has now decided maybe it isn't a good idea. Apparently my arguments against were more persuasive than I realized.

So KosherCook has left it that if, and only if, KosherCop stops asking, in the spring we can consider getting a kitten.

I've got a bad feeling that some of us may not be able to make it until spring. I mean, come on, Hanukkah is coming up. I've always wanted to try to gift wrap a kitten!

Fabulous Shavuot Finds

I spent today thinking about all of the wonderful additions I want to someday make to this blog, and couldn't wait to get home to start them. Of course life intruded and now it is midnight.

So instead I'm just going to share a hodge podge of fun Shavuot finds I came across. (As well as a few KosherCop tidbits, of course.)

Strawberry Rhubarb Blintzes Recipe
Today was the first day of our CSA delivery for the season and as usual this time of year, we received rhubarb. One of our members was nice enough to post a recipe from myjewishlearning.com for Strawberry Rhubarb Blintzes.






Creative Jewish Mom
I have been all over the blogasphere looking for Jewish craft blogs and haven't had much luck...until today. I discovered Creative Jewish Mom which has tons of great craft tutorials for Jewish holidays. I love these cupcake paper carnations! Too bad I waited until the last minute and can't possibly festoon the house with paper flowers before the holiday starts tomorrow night.






KosherEye.com
For everything kosher, check out KosherEye.com. They have a kosher cheese update for Shavuot as well as
kosher deals and a project called “Culinary Heirlooms” which will highlight readers contributions of beloved handwritten recipe cards (I have a few in my mother's handwriting that are all stained and frayed, but I love them), advice, photos, etc.




KosherCop Updates
KosherCop brought home all of his Shavuot projects from school today, which include this vegetable placemat and Ten Commandments that are written in kid-friendly terms that a six year-old can understand:

1. There is only one G-d
2. Do not bow down to idols
3. Use G-d's name only when you need to
4. Rest on Shabbat
5. Listen to Ima and Aba (Mom and Dad)
6. Use words, not hands
7. Be good friends
8. Do not take what does not belong to you
9. Tell exactly what happened
10. Be happy with your own toys

Mother's Day
Backing up a bit, I received a big pile of presents for Mother's Day - all handmade in school as well. There was this beautiful card with a hebrew poem that made me cry:

Mommy, precious to me
Mommy, precious to me,
Precious mommy.
Mommy, precious to me,
Precious mommy.
My precious mommy,
Loves me very much,
Loves me very much.

I will smile at you,
I will smile,
I will smile at you,
I will smile,
I will sing a little song about you,
Because I love you,
I love you.

I had to search for the translation and found it here along with a recording of the song.

In case it isn't clear - that is KosherCop on the left inside the heart and I'm on the right.

But wait there's more: I also received a matching photo clip and box - both decorated in my absolute favorite of all kid mediums - faux stained glass ala tissue paper!

Have a wonderful holiday!

Hag Sameach!

PS - I apologize from the bottom of my little designer's heart for the truly atrocious photo layouts on this post. The photo editor has become rather difficult to manage in Blogger and I just can't make it any better at this hour.

Abstract Art

KosherCop woke me up to give me this collage this morning. I think he figured out that I can't possibly roll over and go back to sleep instead of getting up and feeding him if I'm given artwork before my eyes can even focus.

Before and After

Before - lots of hair and teeth

After - much less hair and one less tooth

The haircut and tooth falling out did not happen on the same day. I just realized I had a picture of him sitting in the same place wearing the same shirt before and after both the haircut and tooth incident.

I say "incident" because this was not a loose tooth that finally fell out. While I was at work KosherCop managed to fall off the couch and land mouth first on a stuffed animal. I will never understand how a soft toy didn't cushion him, but instead was the offending item that caused his tooth to pop out.

And apparently it wasn't a pretty scene. I talked to him on the phone when he was finally starting to calm down, and he was pretty upset. But the Tooth Fairy made it all better. By morning he was running around whooping, "Yeah! I lost a tooth finally!"

What a Difference a Year Makes

My, how things have changed.

Some of you may remember my tales from last summer about KosherCop's over-the-top reactions to the occasional bloody knee or toe. I live in fear of his hysterics with every bump and scrape.

Things have been getting progressively better though. And tonight was downright astonishing.

Our neighborhood had a block party earlier this evening - a once a year (if we are lucky), "night out" against crime affair, where we all stumble out of our houses squinting and rubbing our eyes as we adjust to the fact that there are other people living on the block.

KosherCook and KosherCop were already there when I got home from work, so I walked over and stayed just long enough to say hello and determine that KosherCop had no intention of ever leaving the moonbounce. After 5 hours worth of conference calls at work today, I had neither the energy nor the voice to manage an hour of small talk.

KosherCook mentioned that KosherCop was very excited about having his shoes off - a rule for going on the moonbounce - but he was also walking around the street barefoot. This is usually not allowed. KosherCook doesn't believe in being barefoot. Whenever I walk around the house barefoot he points to my feet and sounds the alarm of  "Borves!" much as our Yiddish-speaking forebears would have. (Borves is barefoot in Yiddish.)

Anyway, I made a hasty exit and went back home. Maybe 15 minutes later I hear KosherCop banging on the front door yelling, "Mommy!"

I couldn't get to him immediately and as I weaved my way past the open dishwasher and other obstacles in our tiny kitchen I kept waiting for the sound of KosherCook's key in the lock.

Never heard it.

I finally got to the door and there's KosherCop - all alone, barefoot, and telling me quite calmly, "Mommy, I cut my toe."

So many questions went through my head at the same time: why is my son alone? where is KosherCook? did he let KosherCop walk home alone? did he know he was bleeding and let him go home alone anyway?

A split second later the prevailing thoughts were "call KosherCook" and "get bandaids". I called my husband as I walked KosherCop to the bathroom, because I had no idea if he even knew our son had left the block party.

As it turned out, KosherCook was completely aware - in fact he watched him from the corner, KosherCop's shoes in hand, until he got to our door. The cut came later when he stubbed his bare toe on a crack in the sidewalk.

So while I washed and bandaged my son's toe I marveled at how calm he was, hardly believing it.

No hysterics over a bleeding toe and bare feet allowed outside - all in the same night. Will wonders never cease?!

Backwards Dinner and Too Many Phone Calls

Tonight I had a really good idea. The first one. Ever.

At least that's what I've been told.

Then I was called a "dork who likes boxes." I love being a Mom.

For some reason I was feeling rebellious this evening. As Shabbat was coming to an end I was asked what was for dinner. I suggested ice cream.

KosherCop immediately said, "Mommy, that is a really good idea you have. The first one, really."

KosherCook looked disapprovingly at the two of us. But it was two against one so off we went to Baskin-Robbins.

Before we left the house I asked KosherCop to wash his hands, since he had been playing at the playground. He was cupping his ear with his hand and I thought he had gotten a mosquito bite. No. Apparently he was talking on his cell phone. His imaginary cell phone.

KosherCop: I'm talking to Miss Pinky on my cell phone.
Me: Well put her on hold and go wash your hands.
KosherCop: My phone doesn't have a hold button. If I put her on hold it will explode.
Me: Alright - just tell her excuse me and put the phone down.

Then, as a good Mom should I added,"But for goodness sake - don't get the phone wet!"

The entire way to the ice cream store KosherCop was on the "phone" - and complaining that he couldn't get any peace - "Oy, another call. Why won't everyone just leave me alone!"

Me: You could just turn it off you know.

But no, he continued talking - a long conversation with his friend "The Bug King" about how another friend's imaginary pet tarantula was having tarantula babies. I was shocked and asked if this child's mother knew. Too late - she was already bitten by one. But she was the one who got the tarantula in the first place, apparently.

Well, she got what she deserved then didn't she?

I've clearly lost my mind.

So we had our ice cream and then of course we all decided we wanted dinner. The only thing that could delight KosherCop more than ice cream for dinner was dinner for dessert.

After "dessert" we decided to go to our favorite place - The Container Store - which was surprisingly still open. This was not a popular choice with KosherCop and he grumbled all the way there about how it wouldn't be any fun.

Then when he got inside he said, "Oh sure, if you want to be one of those dorks who likes boxes!"

Hi. My name is Chaya and I'm a dork who likes boxes.

Fiction Friday: The Alien Story

Over the past several months, KosherCop has become quite the creative writer. He can't technically "write" yet, though, so this translates into a lot of dictation for us me. This time, though, I got lucky and his teacher at camp had to do the writing.

The first few weeks of camp they were doing projects related to outer space, and one of the projects was to write a story about an alien.

KosherCop is very particular about where his secretary is allowed to write the words to the story - which happens after the he draws the picture. So I feel fairly confident that he decided where the words were written on this story.

Pretty nice composition for a 5 year old, no?

Anyway, without further ado, I give you KosherCop's Alien Story:

The alien is on Jupiter.

A rocket comes and he says, "Oh no! People are going to find out that I really exist."

He turns invisible. Then the rocket lands right on him. The alien says, "Ugh!" Then he slowly crawls out from the rocket.

He goes into his house. He looks out the window. He sees that the men are getting out.

Then they turn off the fire in the rocket. They say, "We have to see if aliens exist."

The alien got all his friends and they discussed a plan.

They worked on some kind of potion. When no one was looking they poured the potion on the rocket.

Instead of the rocket going back to Earth, it blew up.

Then the men found materials to make a new rocket. Then they blasted off.

But they didn't know that one alien took a picture of one of the men. In the picture there was another person, but when the alien took the picture he was invisible.

It was not an alien. It was a ghost.

The End.

I don't know about you, but I loved the surprise ending. Who would have guessed? A Ghost!