Campaign for Real Felines

Our house is under siege. Protesters have arrived. There will be no peace until their demands are met.

KosherCop has lately embarked upon a relentless campaign to adopt a cat. This past Shabbat he took all of his stuffed animals, lined them up on the couch, and announced they were protesting until we got one. Then he yelled, "Occupy the [Kosher Whine] house!"

Apparently, he "really, really, really needs a cat."

I, however, do not want a cat. We used to have cats and when the last one passed away I embraced our cat-free, hairball-free, ammonia-free home and never looked back.

But I'm not sure I can hold out much longer. It's not just the begging, pleading, negotiating, and presenting of logical arguments (he's nothing if not his father's son). It's also the sudden preoccupation with our most recently deceased cat.

The cat has been gone for 3 1/2 years and KosherCop was lukewarm at best toward her when she was alive. But, he is missing her terribly all over again. Last week he had an art project at school where they had to work in the style of artist Alberto Giacometti (I love his school's art program!) So KosherCop's project was an elongated cat that was very much in the style of this cat. When he showed it to me he told me - on the verge of tears - it was a very long Zeebo and she was crying because she missed us. Well, of course, that made me cry, too. Heck, I'm crying right now just thinking about it.

KosherCop's picture of Long Crying Zeebo in the style of Alberto Giacometti

Then, yesterday, I was at a school event and mentioned the stuffed animal protest to his teacher and she told me that he has also been writing a story about Zeebo in creative writing - a memorial tribute, if you will. That may have pushed me right over the edge.

And so, in the face of overwhelming evidence I'm thinking that our son may in fact actually "need" a cat.

Ironically, KosherCook, who has wanted us to get a new cat for quite some time and was initially firmly in KosherCop's corner on this one, has now decided maybe it isn't a good idea. Apparently my arguments against were more persuasive than I realized.

So KosherCook has left it that if, and only if, KosherCop stops asking, in the spring we can consider getting a kitten.

I've got a bad feeling that some of us may not be able to make it until spring. I mean, come on, Hanukkah is coming up. I've always wanted to try to gift wrap a kitten!