Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Mischievous Monkey

Our little angel, KosherCop, seems to have entered a lying phase. Perhaps lying is too strong a word. But his excuses for bad behavior lack a certain "truthiness."

On a good day he has a real problem with soap - he uses way too much of it. When he finishes washing his hands the sink is usually overflowing with soap bubbles (literally - he sometimes has to call for help to stop the bathroom from turning into a Brady Bunch episode).

This week, however, we ran out of handsoap - no big surprise. Since I have banned antibacterial soap from the house and all KosherCook could find on 2 shopping trips was the offending contraband, we have been reduced to using KosherCop's baby shampoo. After all, gentle soap is gentle soap and there was plenty of it. "Was" being the operative word.

I came home from work yesterday and the shampoo was almost gone! When I asked KosherCop about it he looked me in the eye and told me he had nothing to do with it. Then he offered an elaborate tale of aliens who came and emptied the shampoo into the toilet. Ah! A kernel of truth. Eventually I got the full story of how he did in fact dump the shampoo out into the toilet because he "felt like it".

We decided his punishment was going to be helping with chores until we felt he had "earned" back enough money to pay for more soap. He now thinks soap costs about $30. But wouldn't you know it- despite being punished - I woke up this morning and looked in the bathtub and...more shampoo. KosherCop admitted it right away this time with a shrug and a "sorry" that was more like "too bad for you" than actually "I'm sorry."

We added no TV to the punishment. Unfortunately this also was a punishment for KosherCook, since chores don't really get done alone by our 4 year old, and no TV meant no small break for KosherCook.

Luckily, the unpleasantness of the lying phase is being counteracted by a period of extreme expressiveness that is actually quite charming. For the last few nights KosherCop has found the dinners that we served so delicious that he "felt like he was floating up to the ceiling." He used a similar phrase tonight to describe general happiness (like I'm floating into a lake with you Mommy), so I asked him to describe how he felt when he was unhappy and when he was angry. His answers were "like I'm in a dumpster" and "like I stubbed my toe and it's bleeding" respectively. Wow!

I guess this sort of delightfulness is what keeps us from leaving our kids on the side of the road when times get lying trying.


  1. Out of the mouths of babes...don't you just LOVE it?! And feeling like "I'm in a dumpster" prolific. I couldn't have thought it or said it better myself! I hope you're taking notes, Chaya - these you will want to remember. My "baby" will be 26 this fall - - gratefully I have a few memories of her young words of wisdom but I know for sure I've forgotten some of the best...
    I hope you've had a ggod week so far - Joyce

  2. 99 out of 100 boys will NEVER use soap when washing their hands (even though they lie and swear that they do). It seems like you got the 1 boy that uses TOO MUCH soap.
    99 out of 100 mothers would happily trade places with you.
    He may be mischievous, but at least he's clean!

  3. Joyce,
    Believe me - I'm trying to keep track of this stuff. But with a kid that talks 24/7 (well I guess 13/7)I'm bound to miss a few gems.

    Hmm...that's a good point. I guess I'll stick with clean and mischievous. I should probably cancel my next post where I complain about how he's such a good eater he's eating us out of house and home. ;-)

  4. 1. Dilute the soap/shampoo in the bottle. You have to dilute it anyway to use it, and it will last much longer.
    2. Use a container with a handpump; it's harder to spill. If you put a rubberband under the spout it makes it harder to pump out a lot at once.
    3. I once linked to an article about lying, from the NYT. Found it:



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